Beyond the Behavior Plan: Holiday Support
Hi there! How are you? It’s so nice to see you here!
Welcome to our series here at Coffee Mugs & Clipboards called “Beyond the Behavior Plan”
This series is going to take us beyond what those documents often describe and really tell us what those supports, interventions and replacement behaviors mean.
And as always “the why.”
Our discussion this week is going to talk about holiday season support, more specifically navigating changes in routine, seeing new faces & places, the post-holiday de-escalation & planning for the next holiday..
The holiday season is upon us and we’re getting ready to navigate all of the changes in routine. There’s no better time than now to put a plan together to support you and your learner to make the holidays a little more predictable & a little less worrisome.
The Holiday Season is upon us….
Yes, yes, we are here. If you live in North America like I do then you’re most likely planning (pre-cooking, buying, baking, etc.) those favorite Thanksgiving dishes you’ll serve at your Thanksgiving table.
We often put so much thought into the food we serve and the seating arrangements.
But what happens when we have a learner who just the mere thought of having a day out of the ordinary (being in a different space or with other faces that they don’t normal see on the day-to-day) can cause old behaviors to appear again or new ones to pop up?
This sometimes is the real holiday planning we need to do.
Yes, all the pies and turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes need to taken care of along with the Pinterest-worthy table scapes.
However, if we don’t take care of those that need that same level of preparation when arriving to our holiday dinners as Tom the Turkey does, one can only assume what happens next…
What can we do about changes in routine?
Changes in routine are inevitable. As much as we want life to be super predictable, there’s just no way in guaranteeing that what we planned for on our perfectly manicured calendars will align with ease.
Holiday celebrations can be fun and exciting but for some learners, it can be stressful for them.
The new people, new environment, new smells, new foods, loud sounds, brighter (or darker) environments, and more are just a few parts of the day that can change. Not to mention meal time may look completely different and be at an entirely different time of day.
So, let’s start here. You are the expert on your learner and know them best. When you’re thinking of these changes, ask yourself:
Get a sense of what the setting is like. if you’ve been there before you’re at an advantage. If you haven’t, you may need to do some more research by talking to the host, restaurant, etc. Keeping these questions in mind, though, you can start to formulate a plan.
So let’s go back a few weeks to visual schedules and even our discussion last week about transitions (HEAD OVER TO THE BLOG POSTS HERE!)
Visuals are a great place to start. You can do any and all of the following:
Create a story of the day using pictures of the location from the host (could be as high tech as a tablet or phone or as low tech as a piece of computer paper)
Build a visual schedule with pictures (on your phone, printed, etc.) for day of.
Preview the environment with visuals (where to use the bathroom, what the kitchen or living room looks like, what the house looks like, etc.)
Show pictures of the meals and identify what the learner would and would not enjoy ahead of time to make it one less decision to have in the moment.
When transitions are happening, please keep in mind our discussion from last week about what to do before, during and after a transition.
Seeing new people, new places & larger groups.
Holidays are a wonderful time of year for gathering together as a family and celebrating with loved ones. Our learners, sometimes, might not see this type of gathering as being as “joyous.”
New & larger groups of people
When navigating holidays with new people and even larger groups of people, that socialization can be trying. People have the best intentions and greeting our learners can take some learning to know how best to greet and interact.
It is a difficult conversation to have with others, but it is an important one.
Set the boundaries early and even have a brief discussion with them about how they can best interact and greet your learner.
Yes, it may be uncomfortable to have that conversation, but what’s more uncomfortable, watching your learner have difficulty or having an uncomfortable conversation to make your learner have less difficulty with the new people.
A conversation (or even a cue card) of the type of interaction your learner is most successful with to ease this transition can look something like this:
Talking with the host, they may be willing to assist you with letting other guests or family members know if you can’t reach everyone. It is important to share this information without making it the center of the celebration. Our goal is to incorporate the learner in feeling a part of and comfortable around new and large groups of people.
New places
Similar to what we talked about in the previous section, visuals are a great way to show a new place. Sometimes, if you can, previewing the place can mean taking a practice ride there or planning a visit to the location to walk around and see the setting yourself. This would allow the learner to see where everything is, take in the sounds, smells and sights and even allow you to take pictures of the location (if the host or setting allows) for further preparation at home.
Post-holiday de-escalation
The post-holiday slump is real, but for our learners sometimes it can be over-stimulating and require some support to regulate and settle back into the day-to-day.
Start the next day with (as close to normal as you can) the usual day-to-day routine. This can include favorite foods, favorite activities, etc.
Simplify the next day (if you can) to keep the day light with activities and filled with what your learner needs to re-regulate.
Most importantly - take a moment for yourself
And if you are reading this as a support person for a learner’s family, check in with them. Ask:
How are you?
What can I do to help?
I’m here and I’m thinking of you.
Planning ahead for upcoming holiday celebrations
November, December and January bring plenty of celebrating. By the end of it, it can be utterly exhausting! The planning, the traveling, the cooking, the gift gathering etc.
Now that Thanksgiving is done, start thinking about the next holiday and brainstorm with those in your learner’s life:
Be kind to yourself and know there is no better person in the world for your learner to be in their corner, than you!
I would love to support you and your family in crafting collaborative, sustainable behavior and academic supports at home through a free 15-minute Coffee Break to find out just what your cup needs.
Click the image to the right & be directed to our services page!
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